I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
