You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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