I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
