my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
