So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize