Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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