I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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