Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
