um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize