Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize