he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
