if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
