I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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