hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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