Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
