More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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