We named our party play list daddy issues
I look better un-naked...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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