Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize