So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
