remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
