wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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