we're blogging at a bar
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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