I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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