Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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