First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
