How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
