He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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