We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
