What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
