i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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