I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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