I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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