For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
