what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
