Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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