every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
