I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
