Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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