My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
