Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
