As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
