So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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