I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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