Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
