I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
