yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
