Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
