First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
