True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
