Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
