I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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