I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Houston, we have a blender
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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