he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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