Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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