I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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