Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
