That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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