i just google imaged poop.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
