is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
