if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
