I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
