I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
