my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
