She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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