I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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