Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Blood and glitter go together right?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
