shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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