i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
