How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
