Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My balls are so social today.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
