You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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