Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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