idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
