Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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